Liar, Liar, pants on fire!!!

what do you do with a 10 year old boy who not only is a constant talker, but a parent signature forger? of course you threaten him with the does this signature match the signature on this emergency card your mom signed? ok then, i'll call her and if she didn't you'll have to see the principal... maybe even the police since its a felony (i'm not sure if that's the truth for this case.... but that besides the point)... then the.... i've never had someone lie to my face to me, i can NEVER trust them again..... i trust all of my students.... and i hope that you aren't the first.... the basic guilt trip. then, you talk to his mom and she says she never signed it and has punished him for lying.... then asks me "but... is he a trouble student?"..... hello!!!!! in my 4 years of teaching i've never had a blatant liar/chronic talker. is he a trouble student?.... a red flag?.... YES!!!! was that a stoopid question? YES!!!!! how do you gently tell a parent you have a talking liar in a gentle, loving way? kids these days. My conviction: i have to love this kid anyway, even if it's a papercut kind of pain/love.... the kind that hurt more than anything else in the whole world. man only 174 more days till summer... but i'm not counting!

Slugs.... Whatintheworld?

today i had three very naughty children bring a SLUG into my class and place it on another student's desk. A SLUG!!!! of course she told on them (something 10 year olds have mastered... tattling and forgiving each other within seconds... i've seen it plenty of times). i had to bring out the ms. viola swamp voice, facial expressions (the duh.... what were you thinking look), and lecture them on the appropriateness of their immature actions. i basically told them to grow up and act their age. after convinving them that they shouldn't act like children (i'm a great actress by the way.... they knew i meant business)... i decided that the age of accountiblility should be somewhere around 4.... since in my business, 4 year olds are now expected to read, write, know their addition and subtraction facts, take entrance exams, and avoid all subjects that pertain to playing around. Thus, 10 year olds are really 18 year olds in midget bodies. Come on.... grow up and act your age naughty children!

p.s: if they are 18... that makes me about 40.... scary thought!

Friday Sparks Day... B-ball with the boys!

ok... so today was my first friday back at work which meant... perry panther purple t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. just my style (omit the perry purple). another great thing about friday besides the fact that it well... friday.... is that the upper grade (4/5) have a thing called sparks field day. its basically the last 30 minutes of school.... a time where 5 classes come out on the yard and the teachers set up various stations to play games. the kids get to chose the game they want to play and have fun with all the kids.... non-discriminating opportunity. the "naughty" kids who don't complete their homework, class work, or who are simply "naughty by nature" get to go to detention. In teacher terms, friday field day is to "kill time" because its friday and we are ready for the weekend and have no more energy to teach and detention room is "teacher time off" to clean the room, grade papers.... simply relax and enjoy peace and quiet.

well, today i had the chance to play basketball with some of the 4/5 boys. one thought he was way too good. so, i had to put him in his place. i'm not ashame of that. another boy, this "chubby asian kid with glasses and his pants to his boobs" (yes he really does have them and he is a male... yes, he's 10.... picture that one!). well, he wanted to play so badly, but he didn't know how. me, being the nice, loving, kind, generous teacher encouraged him to play... big mistake. the kid couldn't catch the ball, his glasses kept falling off, he was playing defense when he was suppose to be on offense.... poor kid... how to you help a social outkast like this one? therapy? i thought for sure he had to be hating life, hating basketball, and hated his parents for even thinking of letting him wear those pants.... but, he kept playing. after about 20 minutes of b-ball in the beaming sun (my extent of exercise lately) the bell was about to ring and school was about to be over. this kid walked over to me, shook my hand (which you know i hate ..... germs), and said that was a great game! can you believe it? WOW.... this kid is so easy to please.... the "social loner" had a blast. Thus, to make this long story short.... i just justified why friday sparks day should be a part of state testing for kids. the category should be... interaction... how to get kids to like others even when they don't like them at recess!

It's Gettin' Hot in Here....

it's getting hot in here... but i'm not taking off all my clothes. well, not yet! i have no idea who decided to start the school year on the hottest day of the year! it felt like 1000 degrees in my non-air conditioning classroom. did i mention non-air conditioned room? how in the world are you suppose to teach 30 kids in a hot room with no air circulation and lots of body odor. i teach 11 year olds who haven't had the sex ed video yet... thus, no deodorant talk yet! man, the stench could kill you if the heat doesn't! i tried to concentrate but i couldn't and i didn't expect the kids to either.... so i kept hearing... Ms. Kobayashi is it okay to... my immediate response was "no" because for one i didn't care at that point... it was too hot and two.... i felt like their voices were sucking in all of the "cool" air and releasing "hotttttt" air.... so, the sooner i got them to close their mouths.... the sooner i felt that my room would cool off. i cut them off all day.... i think they got the hint it was too darn hot to talk..... don't even try getting out of your seat either. it sounded something like this in my class...

ryan: Ms. K...
me: no
breanna: Ms. K can...
me: no
ryan: but, Ms....
me: no
alan: is it...
me: no

i even heard one of my student say... "does she always say no?... what time did she go to sleep?" i think i'm training them well.... don't ask me anything when (a) its hot (b) when i don't get enough sleep (3) if its a stoopid question.... i think my year started off just perfectly!!! don't you?!?

Faithful friend!

friendships...is it just me or is anyone else finding it really hard to keep up? i've realized it's extremely difficult to make long lasting friendships with a ton of people...ever tried to keep up with a ton of people? friends come and go, but the ones i'm finding to be the most treasured are the ones which i don't seem to talk to very often. you know, the ones which you talk to every once in a while.... yet it feels like you never left off. isn't that ironic? i hardly talk or see them.... yet, they completely understand you, love you, and they definately know how to gently rebuke you and put you in your place when necessary. these people are the few people who you let into your little world because you don't have to be afraid of judgement, peer pressure, or giving off the wrong idea. they know you completely, love you completely, cherish your friendship, and point you toward christ.... they reflect his character and his love. that's why you love and appreciate them. the "other ton" of people you know generally fall into the category of "hi, hello, and how do you do".... you tend to worry more about what they think of you than anything else... sometimes even god.... why is that? the point i'm trying to make is... maybe i shouldn't focus on the "ton" of friends i'm trying to keep up with, but rather, i should strive to be the loyal friend who displays christ's character.... role reversal.... inner change. we may have tons of friends.... yet one will stick closer than a brother!