poor me, for thiking i'm poor

ok, so today i was in a conference for 7 hours, listening to a man who made $300,000 to talk about meeting with people to plan. now, grant it i personally didn't pay for the conference, nor did i attend because i chose to. i was the lucky 10th winner on our staff to attend. yah, not so lucky! more like sucker! however, i did get 2 days away from kids.... gotta look at the bright side.

anyhow, lately i've been thinking about why i live where i live and how healthy it is to live in the OC. i guess it's not something i've been "just" thinking about... technically its been something on my heart for a while. basically, are we, christians called to live in this self endulgance and socio economic bliss without thinking twice about how christ calls us to live? when we talk about the rich, we refer to the multi-millionaires (remember 1 million isn't enough in socal), those who have their own businesses with exspendable funds, those who hold high positions of political office, those who grew up with money and have vacation homes... you know, the ones who the world looks at in envy and think they can only dream of that kind of bank account. well, the truth is... yes, they are the top 1%... but, where am i on this spectrum? if i compare myself to the poor in third world countries, the empoverised in skid row, the slums of santa ana, the poor in the south, the starved children in india and south korea, the crime ridden streets of DC, the drug infested lands of south america, the prostiution filled streets of thailand, the AIDS population who can't get the necessary drugs to survive in Africa, the malaria infestation in asia... my world of "poor" isn't looking so "poor" any more. i mean really, i live in HB, drive an "old" car which still runs well, have a good paying job that pays the bills each month and allows me to travel, buy peppermint mochas at starbucks, a health plan that allows me to be treated for anything except death, a filled refridgerator which often times is full if food that has gone bad because i didn't get to it in time... too many choices, i guess. So, where do i fall on the spectrum of the rich in the world? am i really that far for the 1%? the fact is, i'm closer to them in wealth than i am to 1/3 of the entire world population. What has God called me to do? how can i make my thinking revolve around what is "truth" about my place in the world, rather than constantly comparing myself to the elite 1%? i need to engrain in my mind that "poor me for thinking i'm poor". i should rejoice for His blessings and challenge myself to extend to the others boldly out of the abundance the Lord has provided and blessed me with. why is being so self endulged, greedy, and selfish so easy?!? Lord, please open my eyes!

watch out for the people pleasers!

do you ever wonder why you do things sometimes? i'm talking about the dreaded chore or favor you do because you fear feeling guilty. not because it's out of the goodness of your heart or because you desire to serve them, but simply out of "fear". why is that i am so pressed to being a "people pleaser"? how do you get out of that mode and simply "do" because you want to and walk away whenever you desire to.... without guilt? does that day ever come? being a people pleaser can be a lot of hard work. it's a job in itself. i need to lighten the load!

Blue Like Jazz -- Digging Deep!

I recently read a book which has caused me to really think about my faith: what i believe, why i believe what i believe, and how what i believe... impacts my life. Blue Like Jazz, written by Donald Miller, is a candid "journal" of thoughts which challenged me to look at the christian faith and really dig deep. It caused me to reflect and to see my "faith" in a different light. The last time i read a book that caused this type of impact was Putting Amazing Back Into Grace by Horton. Although the books are very different, nonetheless, it was an eye opening look at how much i often restrict the christian faith into a narrow box and how i at times feel like the outside is "bad". but is that always the case? being different in the world yet standing firm in my beliefs can actually happen. so often i think "different" is bad. why is that?

how can i reach the world for christ, when i am to "afraid" to step out, be different, stand for something (that acutally means something), and not be fearful that i won't relate to others? my desire is to passionately pursue Christ and reflect him daily. the ironic thing is: when i'm in the "box", i seem to be more consumed with "myself" yet its safe. its a case of getting over myself. boy, seeing my sinfulness and selfishness can be hard to swallow... yet its so refreshing. i consider that progress!

On That Midnight Train to Georgia?

Top TEN great Things about the SOUTH...

1o. Sonic lime-aid slushie
9. Crawfish Mac and Cheese
8. Chick-fil-A on every street corner
7. minimum of 5 Christian radio stations
6. grits and country style potatos for breakfast
5. ducks at the peabody while sippin a tennesee mudslide
4. saw the Mississippi river like huck finn
3. shrimp po'boys
2. Sweet Tea!!! for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack
AND...
1. Saw "the KING" at graceland (nuff said!)

i even came back with a slight southen' accent. ya'll need to come visit sometime!

i could potentially see myself living in tennesee, but i'd surely be the only asian there in memphis. anyone want to join me? y'all would love it ya hear!

running for fun?

I decided to come back to the ole blogger.... I guess to try and attempt to keep in touch with friends and at the same time, journal some random thoughts. So, with that said... lets see. i always wonder what i should and should not share on something like this. i mean it seems like its so public and out there for the world to see. oh' what the heck... lets see what happens. today i ran again, in attempt to prepare for the disneyland half marathon. i thought honolulu was my last, then i thought HB half marathon was.... but low and behold, i'm down for another. i guess my kicks will have to endure one more run. its good exercise and fun to wear your medal at the end. besides, when i tell my kids that i ran 13.1 miles, they get a good laugh. i'm actually trying to convice my duarte friend to run the nike 26.2 in october. hmmmm.... could running by my new thing? i think not, but until the knee gives out, the ankles break off, the lungs deflate, or the heart fails to pump.... i guess i'll be out at the beach with the other crazy people who run for fun...if i'm lucky i'll see the priest.

VROOM with sparks is a bad sign!

yesterday i witnessed a friend of mine fall off his motorcycle while driving it about 20 mph. yup, i was in the parking lot of church and he was showing us his NEW honda.... vroom and slide off the bike, i saw sparks, he tumbled about 5 feet, scratched up body and scratched up his new bike. he didn't have his helmet on which scared me to death.... but the scariest part of all.... i can't get the images out of my head. it gives me the chills every time i think about it. i can't image this happening on the freeway! how do you get crazy images like this horrid thing out of your mind and get back to thinking motorcycles are ok? do you ever get over things like this or will it forever be engrained on my mind? will two wheeled vehicles other than bicycles be banned for life? help me from being the anti-biker!

Liar, Liar, pants on fire!!!

what do you do with a 10 year old boy who not only is a constant talker, but a parent signature forger? of course you threaten him with the does this signature match the signature on this emergency card your mom signed? ok then, i'll call her and if she didn't you'll have to see the principal... maybe even the police since its a felony (i'm not sure if that's the truth for this case.... but that besides the point)... then the.... i've never had someone lie to my face to me, i can NEVER trust them again..... i trust all of my students.... and i hope that you aren't the first.... the basic guilt trip. then, you talk to his mom and she says she never signed it and has punished him for lying.... then asks me "but... is he a trouble student?"..... hello!!!!! in my 4 years of teaching i've never had a blatant liar/chronic talker. is he a trouble student?.... a red flag?.... YES!!!! was that a stoopid question? YES!!!!! how do you gently tell a parent you have a talking liar in a gentle, loving way? kids these days. My conviction: i have to love this kid anyway, even if it's a papercut kind of pain/love.... the kind that hurt more than anything else in the whole world. man only 174 more days till summer... but i'm not counting!